CHORF, it’s a word now

Mordecai: dude, we need a new word.

Rigby: awww, what? Why?

Mordecai: because people are right, SMOF is taken. Can’t use it.

Rigby: but I thought SMOF was awesome! I mean, awesome, for, like, bad.

Mordecai: I know, so did I, but some people don’t use it that way.

Rigby: so what other word can we use?

Mordecai: we need something visceral. Something with punch.

Rigby: I know, how about DORKS!

Mordecai: dude, what does that even stand for anyway?

Rigby: (blinks) it has to stand for something?

Mordecai: dude, that’s the rules.

Rigby: Doofus Operators ummmm . . . doofus . . . ummmm . . . Doofus —

Mordecai: Wait, how about KLAWDZ?

Rigby: And what does that stand for?

Mordecai: I dunno, but it’s spelled cool.

Rigby: KREEPZ!

Mordecai: JURKZ!


Mordecai: wait, this is dumb, we’re just saying stuff. Our word has to really mean something.

Rigby: so, like, what then?

Mordecai: (eyes brighten) dude, I’ve got it. CHORFs.

Rigby: no dude, not all over the game console!

Mordecai: wait, listen. Cliquish, Holier-than-thou, Obnoxious, Reactionary, Fanatics.

Rigby: (stunned) dude . . . . that’s IT!

Mordecai: I know, right?

Rigby: (smiling) You are such a CHORF!

Mordecai: (also smiling) this place is totally CHORFed, I’m outta here.

Rigby: CHORF off, man!

Mordecai: CHORF you, man!

Rigby: go CHORF yourself!

Mordecai: dude, where’s the bathroom, I’m gonna totally CHORF!




  1. 2016 WorldCon Guest of Honor and Chorfist Teresa Nielsen-Hayden: “I was being unfair to all the perfectly reasonable straight white guys out there.”

  2. Chorfologist and 2016 WorldCon Guest of Honor Teresa Nielsen-Hayden – “…GamerGator/Sad Puppy. Both are about suppressing diversity.” “Your agenda excludes about seven-eighths of last year’s Hugo ballot.”

    What bald-faced bullshit. I’d like to see anyone lay out a case for that using actual quotes instead of making stuff up out of their head. There is no instance Sad Puppies would’ve gone through photos and excluded anyone based on their race and sex. That’s what social justice warriors do. That’s how proto-Chorfist Jim Hines looked at a photo of WorldCon chairs, saw a lot of white people and went HOLY SHIT, BATMAN, A KKK. AND RIGHT UNDER OUR EYES. HOW COULD WE BE SO BLIND? ARRRRGGGHHHH! TO THE BLOGMOBILE. WE MUST WRITE AND SWARM – LIKE BEES!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

    Anyway, thanks for not including me in a KKK or a moral ghetto with 100 million other “straight white guys” Chorfhulhu.

    Revowel this: Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Chrfst rcst wgah’nagl fhtagn!!!

  3. James May,

    GamerGate is totally about suppressing the diversity of games that cannot run five minutes without crashing. Games that lock up constantly, and are otherwise no fun are different from games that work and are fun, so having both sold a lot is diverse. Gamers mostly don’t want to play severely broken games, and want to know what they are getting.

    Likewise books can be broken and non-functional. They can lack tension, or be incomprehensible, or simply be mislabeled such that many people who don’t care for that type of story mistakenly try it out. Puppy related sadness is caused by reading boring message fiction that isn’t to puppy taste. It can be alleviated, in part, by rip roaring two fisted space stories. There are more ways to make a broken thing than a working thing, so widespread enjoyability is inherently less diverse by the dictionary meaning.

    What year ballot was she talking about, and is it possible that that many of the stories fail to attract a wide variety of readers?

  4. But dang it, Brad, *we’re* supposed to be the reactionaries! πŸ˜€

  5. Nah, we’re getting out ahead of this thing. Putting the CHORFs on the defensive. Five years ago, those same CHORFs would have scoffed and told you that something like SP3 could never happen. There weren’t enough sourpusses in the world to stage it. Well, we’ve proven we’re far more numerous than the CHORFs guessed, and we’re anything but sourpusses. We are happy warriors. Having fun. Making the field live up to its reputation. Now it’s the CHORFs scrambling to shut the windows and doors, erect still more walls, find more excuses, etc. We’ve got them backpedaling and zig-zagging.

  6. When I say CHORF, I wondered if it was some new s3xual identity/practice so bizarre it didn’t have its own Wikipedia page yet πŸ˜‰ But yes, today’s “progressive” movement is at its core deeply reactionary — or should I saw REgressive?

  7. When I was in jr. high, us members of the star trek fan club, who were looked down upon by the cool kids decided to run a little social experiment. we invented a slang word, “nibe”. we used it ourselves for a brief period, then sat back. about a wek later some of us were on the swingset at a local park when we heard someone on side say to his pals “look at the bunch of nibes on the swings”. the probably never figured out why we all burst out laughing.

  8. So, CHORF is your new term for people who volunteer to staff Worldcon and the other, smaller volunteer-run conventions, which actually comprise the overwhelming majority of cons? It would truly be a shame if these people, who sacrifice their time, money and their very lives, year after year to keep these conventions going in return for nothing other than the thought that they’re doing a good deed for the genre and the community that they love got tired of being picked apart, insulted and beseiged with demands from political extremists and just gave up and went off to do something else. Are you prepared to keep the cons going when you’ve chased away the people who care enough to do it? Do you really think it will be an improvement if fandom whithers away and all that’s left are the for-profit mega-cons and corporate-run chain conventions?

  9. The beauty of the acronym CHORF is that it can be ascribed to both sides of the political spectrum as long as the person is a fanatic reacting to something. A rabid puppy and an SJW can both be CHORFs.


  10. Brad, there’s no denying you’re great at making up insults and acronyms. CHORF has a great sound for its nasty purpose, which shows real skill. Apply the same to your fiction and you’ll go places.

    Speaking now as someone to whom you’d apply the term, I’ll cop to occasionally being cliquish and holier-than-thou — kinda natural for those of us who grew up in the genre-ghetto era — and even to being a fanatic (which is, after all, what “fan” is short for), but “obnoxious and reactionary” no, sorry, those apply much better to _your_ side in this argument.

    The reactionary part is in your openly-stated desire to return SF to an earlier stage of its development, the obnoxious part is proven by the very fact of this coinage.

    I hope the time will come when you’ll apply your obvious talents and energy to something that could actually advance the state of the art instead of petty, bratty stuff like this.

  11. Moshe, educate yourself… look at the words being used against Fan(atics) who want to restore the Hugo to it’s former glory…

    I didn’t realize until Sad Puppies that I’d gone from grabbing a book off the shelf just because it was NOMINATED for a Hugo to ignoring them totally… I miss the days that the “Hugo” was a guarantee of a Great Read at worst…

    If that’s moving toward the past I’ll take it.

    I haven’t heard anyone say they want science fiction to go back to the Golden Age of SciFi… just that they want stories that are interesting without being a manifesto for the author’s personal drum beating (or at least interesting despite it)

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